She Used to Be Mine
by LillyPie25
Summary: A continuation of Snowed In. Mia Takahashi And Shunsui Kyoraku have been together for four months before they get some unexpected news. How will they handle their new life?
1. Chapter 1

It had been nearly four months since Nano Ise and Captain Rukia Kuchiki tricked Shunsui into spending an unforgettable weekend with Mia Takahashi. Actually, the plan had been Jushiro's, but Nanao and Captain Kuchiki had been the ones to carry it out.

Now the beautiful woman laid naked across his strong body, her thick dark brown hair fanned out off her neck.

"Fuck.." Mia gasped.

Her breast heaved with each breath she took, her normally pale skin was flushed a lively shade of pink and covered with sweat. That was par for the course when she spent the night with Shunsui in his Captain's quarters.

"That never gets old." He chuckled planting a small kiss on the top of her head.

Shunsui stretched his long limbs lazily before bringing his arms behind his head ginning widely. Nothing was better than having a beautiful naked woman lay across his body.

Mia laughed before taking his lips fully with her own.

"No." She started. "That most definitely never get's old."

Mia smiled brightly as she rolled off him, fanning her face trying to cool off. A round with Shunsui always left her skin hot and flushed. Pulling at her hair Mia rolled it up tightly into a knot at the top of her head.

Shunsui pouted at her actions. He loved it when she wore it down, loved the way it brushed over her soft creamy skin as he moved her body in ecstasy. He especially liked the red tint that shone when he moved her and caught the light just right.

"Don't give me that look." She narrowed her eyes at him, a hint of amusement shining through the golden highlights in her otherwise dark eyes.

"Why do you always rush off afterwards?" He asked as he watched her hastily tie her uniform together.

"You're the one who insisted we kept this a secret."

"I did, but that was to punish Nanao and Captain Kuchiki, not myself."

Shunsui smiled as he stood up, stalking towards her like a predator. Wrapping his large arms around her frame Shunsui pulled her close. He took a deep breath, inhaling her sweet scent before nuzzling his face at the base of her sensitive neck.

"If I were any other man, I might think you were just using me for my body." He whispered against her ear enjoying the way her body reacted to his. Mia was always reacting to his presence, it was almost as if she couldn't get enough of him, something that had never happened before.

Mia turned planting a quick kiss on his lips.

"I am." She winked before pushing him away. "I have an appointment with Captain Kotetsu, and you're making me late."

"What do you need to see her for?" Shunsui asked as he reached for his own uniform. He had about ten minuets before Nanao showed up to wake him for the day.

"Never you mind, I'm late! See you tonight." She called blowing a kiss to him before slipping out his window.

Shunsui watched her as she disappeared in the distance towards the relief station. She hadn't been feeling well lately, something Mia had been desperately trying to hide from him.

Sighing heavily Shunsui draped his signature pink kimono over his broad shoulders.

Mia had quickly become the brightest light in his long dark life. She was bright, compassionate, and funny. She also happened to be the sexiest woman he had ever had the pleasure of tasting. Mia was so perfect he often wondered what the hell she would want with an old man like him.

"You're a fool old man, making her sneak around when you should be showing her off. She loves you more than anyone else ever would."

Mia ran as fast as she could to the relief station but she was still at least ten minutes late.

"I'm sorry I'm late Captain! I got held up."

Mia bowed deeply, hoping she wasn't too late to keep their appointment. _I knew I should have snuck out before he woke up!_

"Don't worry about it." Captain Kotetsu smiled back at her. "Why don't you take a seat, tell me what brings you here today."

Mia came into the room and sat down.

"Thank you Captain Kotesu. Again I'm so sorry."

"So what seems to be the problem?"

"Lately I haven't been able to keep anything down. No matter how hungry I am. I'm extremely tired all the time no matter how much sleep I get, and I'm starting to worry."

"That could be quite serious." Captain Kotesu said as she got up and came to stand in front of Mia. "Let me check your vitals and we'll go from there."

Captain Kotesu gave Mia a thorough once over all while asking her the standard questions.

"Tell me Mia have you been sexually active?"

"Oh uhh yeah I've been pretty active the last few months." Mia said thinking of this morning. And last night. Shunsui seemed to have a deep appetite for her, not that she minded.

"I see. Mia have you considered you could be pregnant?"

"Pregnant?" Mia repeated stunned. She thought for some time trying to remember the last time she had completed a cycle. "Oh my!" She exclaimed.

Mia found it difficult to concentrate on work for the rest of the day. She tried to push the news out of her mind but she couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. _I guess when you have as much sex as we've been having it's bound to happen._

Finally the day was over and Mia was able to go home. She probably should try to eat but she didn't think she could handle the dinner crowd.

Mia walked slowly towards the squad one barracks in a daze, having no idea how she planned to break this particular news to Shunsui. Although the two had been inseparable since that weekend, no one knew about them. She was starting to regret agreeing to the strange arrangement. It seemed funny at first, but now it was as if it was a dirty little secret. Mia often wondered if her age wasn't playing a factor in his decision to keep quiet. Now they found themselves in such a situation.

Slowly she reached her hand down, gently pressing it against her stomach.

"How on earth am I going to tell him?" She asked out loud.

Mia began to panic, feeling her last meal churning in her stomach. She quickly took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down before it made a reappearance. Breathing deeply Mia decided on turning around and going back to her own barracks. _I just need more time to sort out my feelings!_

Arriving at her room, Mia slowly pushed her door opened and gasped at what greeted her there.

"Shunsui, what are you doing here?" She asked quickly closing her door.

"Can't a man surprise a beautiful woman with a home cooked meal?" He asked innocently gesturing to the basket sitting on her table.

"Ha!" Mia laughed. "Who are you trying to impress, we both know you don't cook."

"I said it was a home cooked meal, I never said it was cooked in my home." He added with a sly wink.

"Still, what are you doing here? I thought we agreed to only meet at your place. You know since my room is in the barracks and someone could hear you." She added bitterly under her breath. It didn't matter, he heard her anyways.

"Well someone's in a mood tonight." He said, sitting up straighter.

"You're the one who made the rules, I'm just reminding you." Mia said as she disappeared behind a silk screen, stripping off her uniform and pulling on a bright pink kosode. "Look I'm really not in the mood tonight Shunsui." She added coming back into the room.

"Not in the mood for what?"

Mia took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"I'm not in the mood for you."

"Ouch."

"It's not like that. I just...I just got a lot on my mind. I need some quiet to process it."

"Do you need space and quiet?" He asked stepping towards her.

Shunsui held his arms out, inviting her to seek comfort in his arms.

Mia bounced on her heels torn. She couldn't resist that man and he damn well knew it. She could feel the tears building in her eyes and hastily turned so he couldn't see.

"Alright Mia, I'll go."

Shunsui walked over to her, placing his hand on her shoulder. He gave her a gentle squeeze before leaning down to whisper in her ear.

"I wanted to talk to you about something important tonight but it can wait till your up for it." Shunsui started for the door but stopped just before going out. "Make sure you eat Mia, you haven't been eating enough."

"Shunsui." She called before he walked out the door.

"Yes Mia?"

"This isn't like breaking up or anything."

Shunsui laughed before turning around.

"As if you could get rid of me that easily. You're stuck with me forever Mia. I'm never letting you go."

"Good." Mia smiled back before he turned and walked out the door.

A part of Mia regretted pushing him out the door, but a bigger part of her selfishly wanted to take this night for her self. She just wanted one night to be blissfully happy about the news she got today. One night to be excited about carrying the child of the man she loved.

She walked over to the table and unpacked the food he had brought for her. Her stomach was tied up in knots but she forced herself to eat something. _It can't be good for the baby to not eat after all._

 _If he's not happy_ she thought as she took a bite of the rice ball he had brought, _It'll just break my heart. I'm just not ready for that._

Mia woke the next day feeling a bit sad. She couldn't remember the last time she spent the night alone and she certainly didn't like not being next to Shunsui. She tossed and turned all night without the peacefulness his presence brought to her. _I sure hope I won't have to get used to sleeping without him after I tell him about the baby._

Mia got dressed quickly and headed down to the mess hall. She had decided to confide in her new friend over breakfast. She piled up a plate of food, knowing she needed to eat and keep her strength up.

Mia quickly walked across the mess hall spotting her friend and sitting her plate next to her's.

"Hana I'm freaking out here!"

"What now?" She asked looking up.

Mia was taken aback. Maybe it was just her hormones talking but it seemed like her friend didn't really want to talk to her. Maybe she was wrong. After all Hana had always been there when she needed someone to talk to. Mia took a deep breath and plunged forward. _Damn hormones_!

"I'm pregnant." She whispered making sure no one was around to hear her.

"Ok. Why is that a problem? It's good news right?"

"Well I haven't told the father yet."

"Why not?"

"I don't know." Mia said as she blew out another puff of air.

Mia sat next to her friend, pushing away her plate of food and resting her head on her hand. She knew she needed to eat, she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

"I guess I'm just worried he won't be happy. It'll break my heart."

"Why wouldn't he be happy?" She asked pushing a small bowl of plain rice in front of Mia and giving her a pointed look.

"I don't know. We've never really talked about this kind of stuff. He just doesn't really seem like the type of man who would be into this sort of thing you know?"

"Well you won't know until you tell him. So quit worrying about it and go tell him already." Hana went back to her breakfast.

Mia got the message loud and clear. She dug into the bowl of plain rice, relieved it didn't immediately make her want to throw up.

One of the best things about Hana was she gave clear uncensored advice. And she was almost always right on the money.

Like usual Hana was right, there was no sense in getting worked up until she talked to Shunsui. _All that added stress can't be good for the baby either. I have to give him a chance, I have to tell him. Who knows maybe he will be excited!_

"Your absolutely right Hana. I'll tell him today for sure!"

"That's the spirit. Good luck Mia."


	2. Chapter 2

For the first time in four months, Shunsui woke up alone. There was no Mia sprawled over his bed. He missed her gentle pressure. The feel of her soft body pressed against his. The sweet smell she left on his pillows.

Slowly he rolled out of bed and gathered his clothes. _Tonight, no matter what Mia is coming back with me._ _I still need to apologize for making her sneak around for so long._

Shunsui grabbed some paper and quickly wrote down a note to Mia. After he got dressed he walked out the door. Shunsui Instructed the first squad member he saw to deliver his message before he disappeared behind his desk and the pile of paper work Nanao would bring in.

It was late in the afternoon when Mia walked into his office. She was in a much better mood then she had been in months, something he had noticed. He smiled brightly before he spoke to her.

"Ms. Takahashi, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

Shunsui got up quickly and came around his desk. Any excuse to abandon the pile of paperwork.

Mia lifted her brow in mock confusion.

"I received your request for a meeting head captain."

Shunsui laughed before pulling her into a tight hug.

"Sorry to be so formal, but you didn't leave me much of a choice. I missed you this morning."

Mia moaned as she rubbed her head against his warm chest.

"I missed you last night." She breathed out before placing small kisses across his chest.

Mia could hear his sharp intake of breath. She smiled to herself before allowing her hands to slide behind him. Shunsui could feel himself twitch as she trailed her nails slowly up his back.

"Mia."

"Hmm?"

"As much as I missed you I'm not sure here is the best place for this."

Mia let her hands roam lower, sliding them underneath the bottoms. Her fingers itching to grasp him.

"Mmm Mia."

"Stop taking and lock your door Shunsui. I need you."

"Who could say no to that?"

Mia squealed as she felt herself being lifted into the air. She wrapped her legs around him, her hands gripping his hair to pull him down to meet her waiting lips. He kissed her with a need matching her own. His skilled tongue dancing against hers leaving her breathless.

Before Mia knew it she felt her back being pressed up against the cold hard surface of the wooden door. She could hear the "click" of the door being locked.

She reached her hands down quickly pulling at the blue obi holding his hakama together, letting them pool around his feet. Mia reached down gripping his length before stroking him.

"Mia, your incredible." He grunted against her lips making her chuckle.

"You're just saying that because of where my hands are." She laughed at him.

"No I'm serious. Mia..."

Mia looked up. His tone was devoid of the playfulness she had grown used to during their months together. This time he sounded serious. His stare was intense and Mia could feel her heart racing even more.

"Mia I love you."

Mia smiled softly. She reached her hands up, placing them on either side of his face before gently kissing his lips. She tried to allow every ounce of love she felt for him to roll off her tongue and pour into one passionate kiss.

"I love you Shunsui." She finally breathed.

Mia felt him smile against her lips as he pulled off her own obi, letting her shikausho hang open exposing her rounded breast. Frantically he tugged on her hakama. Mia had to unwrap her legs in order to allow him to pull them off. Once he had stripped her of them he kneeled down in front of her.

Shunsui gripped her right thigh, lifting it off the floor and placing it over his shoulder. Mia moaned as she felt his slick tongue dart out, teasing the inside of her thigh. His right hand gripped her from behind, pulling her closer towards his mouth while the left teased her entrance.

"Oh wow!" Mia moaned.

She could feel her whole body reacting to his light touch. The way his tongue teased her lips before sucking them the way he knew she liked. She could feel her stomach contracting, her excitement building before her thoughts chased away all pleasure. It was as if she had been dosed in ice cold water.

"Stop! Stop! I can't do this!"

"What's wrong?" Shunsui asked concerned standing up. "Did I hurt you?"

"No. No I'm fine I promise. I just can't do this."

"Mia?"

"Oh I'm so sorry! I know I got you all excited but I just can't do this."

 _Fuck! I forgot to ask her if I could even still have sex!_

Mia bent down quickly pulling up her bottoms and tying them. Shunsui pulled up his own bottoms, his confusion growing as he watched Mia pace around the room.

 _I'm pretty sure it's ok, I mean it's closed off now right? But what about the way it contractions when I have an orgasm? That can't be ok can it? I wonder if I can see Captain Kotetsu again to ask?_

"Mia, what's wrong?"

"Oh, um." Mia stopped pacing and looked at him. "Later. Promise. I'll explain everything later. I should probably go though."

"Mia?"

"I'm sorry Shunsui..."

Shunsui exhaled. It wasn't like he was mad at her for changing her mind, even if it left him feeling uncomfortable. He was worried what had happened to her. What had cause the complete turn around in her attitude. No matter what tonight they needed to talk.

Shunsui decided to take a quick trip to the human world to pick up some of those pastries Mia had bought that weekend they spent together. He had managed to make his way over to her squad during dinner time and noticed she wasn't there. Worried she still hadn't eaten much he packed a few of the lighter foods hoping to tempt her with them later. At the very least she should be able to eat some broth and rice.

When he got back to his room he was surprised to see Mia sleeping on his bed. It had been so long since she slept so peacefully he almost didn't want to wake her up. Taking a deep breath he walked over to her, sitting on the edge of the bed and placing his hand on her shoulder before shaking her gently.

"Mia, wake up. Mia?"

Mia moaned lightly before opening her eyes. She smiled when she saw him.

"Hi. Sorry. I wanted to have dinner with you. I guess I fell asleep waiting."

"I'm sorry I'm late. I went to get you some of those pastries you liked. The cream filled ones." He held up the bag before tossing it on the bedside table. "Did you eat without me?"

"Yeah I had a little."

Mia sat up waiting a bit to really wake up. She leaned against him before closing her eyes again enjoying the warmth of his body next to hers.

"I can't believe how much I missed you. It was only one night." She said slowly crawling into his lap swinging her leg around and straddling him. "Did you miss me as much as I missed you?"

"I'm pretty sure I missed you more." He replied bringing his arms around her. He rested his hands on her hips, gripping her.

"Did you mean what you said earlier?"

Shunsui looked into her eyes. He could see a little insecurity reflected in them and wondered for about the hundredth time what he could have possibly done to deserve her. The ideal that someone as wonderful as her worried he wouldn't love her. _Oh my dear, who wouldn't love you._

"Mia.."

"I mean it was an intense situation and I was grabbing you so... I'll understand if you didn't mean it." Mia bit her lower lip and looked at him.

"Mia, I meant every word. I love you."

Mia smiled brightly, her beautiful eyes lighting up in pure happiness. She could feel her excitement building and after getting the ok from Captain Kotetsu she was more than ready. Her hands slipped between them gently stroking him as she moaned. She kissed his neck before making her way to his lips.

"Mia we should talk first."

"Talk after?"

 **Reaching her hands up Mia unrolled the tight knot she kept her hair in, letting it fall down her back and over her shoulders like a blanket. Red and gold streaks catching in the light by the table making her hair appear to glow.**

 **Pulling off her white obi Mia let her shikakusho hang open, before she pulled it off her slender shoulders. She moaned as Shunsui reached out and traced down her arms, his touch leaving goosebumps everywhere their skin made contact.**

 **Wasting no time Mia stripped off his layers, wanting to expose his muscular upper body. She shivered against him, this time she wasn't stopping until she had her fill, quite literally. Shunsui pulled her closer to him, his hands roaming her soft body reaching down under her hakama to squeeze her sensitive cheeks massaging it. He smiled as Mia moaned against him, his play soaking her.**

 **"** **Who am I to refuse such a beautiful woman." He whispered against her, letting the rough edges of his jaw lightly scratch against her.**

 **Shunsui used the grip on her hips to flip her so that he was on top, pressing her back into the bed.**

 **Nipping and teasing her breast's with his mouth, Shunsui worked his fingers brushing the outline of her slit while she moaned and worked to rid herself of the nuisance that was her pants. She wrapped her legs around his waist pushing his hakama down his body releasing him and pulling him closer to her entrance.**

 **"** **Please Shunsui, I'm so ready!"**

 **Shunsui chuckled darkly. He finished pulling off his hakama before pulling her tight nipple into his mouth, causing her body to twitch wildly.**

 **"** **I plan to take my time with you Mia. It's not every day a beautiful woman tells you she loves you."**

 **Mia laughed lightly, the sound quickly turning into a moan as he pulled the other nipple into his mouth. Closing her eyes, Mia got lost in his touch. The way he lightly brushed his fingers against her skin. The gentle kisses he swept along her body. It was the sweetest torture she had ever endured.**

 **When she couldn't take it any more, when every nerve in her body felt as if it was on fire, he slid into her, grunting against her lips.**

 **"** **You feel so incredible."**

 **Mia moaned softly before taking his lips for a long kiss. She slowly rolled her tongue against him, her hands gripping tightly in his long hair. Pulling back Mia whisper against his ear.**

 **"** **No one has ever made me feel the way you do. You make me so wet."**

 **Shunsui grunted hungrily in response to her, finally moving his hips, slowly grinding against her. The rhythmic driving of his body had worked her into a frenzy causing Mia to moan loudly into the quiet of the bedroom as she clutched him tightly to herself. Their breathing became erratic as he slid in and out of her moving a bit faster against her.**

 **"** **Oh yes yes please!" Mia begged as she felt her whole body shake.**

 **Shunsui grunted against her lips before flipping them once again, putting Mia on top changing the depth of his penetration. He smiled mischievously as she growled at him, her frustration showing on the soft features of her face.**

 **He knew he had just interrupted the crucial moment of her orgasm, and was forcing her to start over building it back up. He knew if he felt her come on him he would spill and he wasn't ready to end the night.**

 **Shunsui clutched her hips tightly wanting to thrust up into her hard.**

 **"** **Not yet." Mia groaned.**

 **She breathed heavily as she pulled his hands off her hips. Using what strength she could muster Mia pinned his arms above his head.**

 **Rocking her body slowly, Mia moaned as the head of his thick cock brushed against her sweet spot. She watched with satisfaction as he strained against her, desperate to touch her as she worked her hips, grinding her clit on him.**

 **"** **Fuck, Mia.."**

 **"** **All's fair love." She groaned, circulating her hips slowly driving him mad with need.**

 **Shunsui leaned forward, catching her by surprise and taking her stiff nipple into his mouth pulling it between his teeth.**

 **"** **Oh fuck!"**

 **Mia cried out releasing his hands and wrapping her own around his head, pinning him to her. She gyrated her body upping her pace as he slid his hands down kneading her sensitive cheeks.**

 **"** **Yes! Yes! Shunsui!"**

 **Mia cried out as she felt his fingers inch closer and closer, stimulating her from behind while his tongue continued to reek havoc on her taut nipples.**

 **Mia could feel her core twitching around him as he made love to her, her body quivering around him.**

 **"** **Please Shunsui! Please I'm so close!"**

 **Shunsui grunted as he felt his own release threatening to spill into the deepest part of her.**

 **"** **Let go beautiful."**

 **He urged her on, his finger teasing inside her as the head of his cock brushed against her. He let her nipple slip out of his mouth to lock his gaze with her as she reached down to stroke her clit, the triple stimulation pushing her far over the edge.**

 **Shunsui smiled as her eyes glazed over. Mia tilted her head back as the first wave of her climax hit her, her clit twitching wildly as he continued to pump and stimulate her. She could feel her core convulsing as she desperately milked him as a second wave crashed over her. Shunsui's eye rolled back in pleasure as he felt her coat him, forcing his own release to spill.**

Mia collapsed on top of him, trying to catch her breath.

"Oh fuck!" Mia breathed out causing Shunsui to laugh. He placed a kiss on her lips before easing out of her slowly.

"You always say that afterwards."

"Yes. But I always mean it." She replied placing a soft kiss on his chest.

Mia sat up wrapping her hair and pulling it away from her face. She laid back down putting her head against his chest. She stroke the hair he was so proud of before he cleared his throat.

"Mia, I think it's time we talked."

He could feel her body tense up. _Is she hiding something from me? Why is she so tense?_

"Go ahead."

"You can relax Mia it's nothing like that." He said bringing her hand to his mouth and kissing her.

"It's not that. I have to tell you something important."

"Oh?" Shunsui questioned raising a brow.

"No you go first, I'm not ready yet.."

"Well, I was just thinking it was about time we put an end to this sneaking around. I'm sorry I made you do it in the first place, sorry if I made you feel like I was ashamed of you or something. The truth is I'm proud as hell about you. If anyone should be ashamed here it's you, rolling around with a dirty old man like me." He ended with a chuckle.

Mia laughed hard at his statement. She couldn't help herself. The man had a way with words. She sat up leaning against him and smiled at him.

"I like getting dirty with you." She winked. "And for the record everyone already knows I 'lust for you'." She scrunched her fingers at the words laughing. "I've never been ashamed of how I felt about you...but.."

Mia bit her lip as she watched the smile vanish from his face.

"Go on Mia?"

"We can't tell anyone anything now. Not yet anyways."

"Why not?"

Mia took a deep breath. She sat up fully and turned to face him tucking her legs in underneath her.

"I'm pregnant."


	3. Chapter 3

They sat in silence for several long minutes. Mia cleared her throat expectantly. When he said nothing she reached over him and grabbed one of the pastries he brought her, eating it enthusiastically. Finally he spoke again.

"Pregnant? You mean like with a baby? With...with my baby?"

"Yes." She laughed lightly. "Pregnant with your baby."

Shunsui stared at her, his soft gaze traveling down landing on her stomach before his mouth split into a wide grin.

"Really Mia? Are you..are you sure?"

"Yes. Captain Kotetsu confirmed it yesterday when I went to see her. I'm about three weeks along. Very early. She's still pretty tiny right now."

"She? Mia are you having a girl?" Shunsui asked excitedly.

"Oh, I don't know." She said reaching over him for another pastry. "It's too soon to know really. It's just a feeling I have. She just feels like a girl."

Mia offered the rest of her pastry to him. He took it happily, sucking the remaining chocolate off her fingers.

"You're happy right?" She asked quietly, her head hanging slightly.

"I couldn't be happier. Well maybe if you married me, but I guess we'll have to wait and see."

"Wow, married? You sure move fast."

"Why wait Mia, when you're sure?"

Mia looked at him softly smiling. She definitely thought he was the one and only for her. _He has a fair point._

"So three weeks huh? That would be the night with the sake right?"

"Trust you to remember that." Mia snorted.

"A jar of expensive sake and your beautiful breast, how could I forget?" Shunsui chuckled as his mind briefly flashed on the image of Mia allowing him to taste the sweet wine off her breast. That was the night he knew he had found his wife.

Shunsui flipped over onto his stomach. He wrapped his arms around her middle hugging her tightly before placing small kisses on her stomach. Mia smiled to herself, leaning back against the bed, relaxing against his touch. She was so happy and now that she knew how he felt about it she didn't think she could get happier. He rested his head on her stomach lightly stroking it with his deft fingers and kissing it before breaking the silence.

"I still don't understand why you don't want to say anything."

"People are going to figure it out." She sighed. "I mean whatever we do now it's just gonna look like we did it because of the baby. That wouldn't be fair to the baby." She looked down at Shunsui. "Don't you think so?"

"You rather people see you get bigger and talk about you behind your back?"

"Yes. I rather that than to have people say we're together because you fucked me and I got pregnant. We're so much more than that."

"So what do you want to do?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "Let's just keep going. Maybe after I get bigger it'll be ok. It'll be like 'oh well we've been together all along we just didn't want anyone to know.' It won't be like trying to cover our tracks."

Mia scooted down the bed. She pulled on his head, bringing him up for a deep kiss. When she pulled back she tucked the wild strand of hair behind his remaining ear and gently ran her hands along the rough hair of his jaw.

"Does that make sense?"

"Not really, but it makes sense to you."

"Even getting caught would be better than coming forward. Thank you for being so understanding."

Shunsui kissed her again, and kissed her belly one last time before he rolled onto his side and pulled Mia towards him. Yawning loudly Mia tucked her body into him and sighed.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too Mia." He breathed against her ear. He placed his hand on her stomach falling asleep thinking of nothing but the small baby that now grew there.

Mia woke up several hours later, a cold chill rolling down her back. Her body was shaking violently from the vivid dream she had. She looked down, expecting to see red sheets like she saw in her dream. Relief washed over her when she realized it had just been a dream. Her eyes burned, the tears threatening to fall before she realized she needed to run to the bathroom.

She was in there for several minutes before Shunsui knocked on the door.

"Are you ok in there?"

"I'm fine." She called back through the door.

Shunsui could hear her getting sick a few seconds later.

"Mia you don't sound fine."

"It's ok! It's normal. Something about the rising hormone levels makes you sick. Captain Kotetsu explained it to me."

Mia walked over to the sink to rinse out her mouth. She opened the door and saw Shunsui standing there, alarm on his face.

"I promise I'm fine. It's totally normal for me to be doing this right now."

A few days later Mia placed her bowl of rice next to Hana and sat down.

"Wow, you look terrible." She said.

"I feel terrible." Mia laughed.

"I take it you told him then? Was he unhappy about it?"

"Oh no. He was really happy about it. Very excited too."

"Oh well congratulations then! So what's the problem if it's not that?"

"I just keep having these vivid dreams. It's hard to shake them off and go back to sleep afterwards. When I finally do fall back asleep I have to get up because I get sick."

"How much longer you gotta go on like this?"

"Ten more weeks." Mia laughed.

The next four weeks passed quickly in the same manner. Mia spent most of her morning's ill in the bathroom. When she wasn't sick she was happily planning her new life with Shunsui.

Most of the nights however, Mia spent curled into a ball crying hysterically after waking up suddenly. She told Shunsui once that she was having vivid dreams but she never went into any details with them. Mia couldn't stand the thought of causing him to worry more than he already was.

Everything she felt, she reassured him was normal. Some woman felt these things more than other. She had gotten some reading material from the library and she had brought back some books from the human world the last time she was asked to make a visit. Together they read through books about pregnancy and what to expect.

"Are you excited for the scan tomorrow? I can't believe Captain Kurotsuchi has a machine that will able you to actually see the baby."

"I'm excited. I'm kinda nervous too. You know nervous excited." She laughed awkwardly.

This scan, to her, was the most important scan. This scan is where she will finally hear her baby's heartbeat. This is where she will learn if her pregnancy is viable.

"Look! My baby is the size of a blueberry." Mia excitedly showed him the picture from one of the books she had piled up on the bed side table.

Shunsui reached over taking the book from her. He searched her face trying to gauge her mood. It had been so long since they last had sex it was almost driving him over an edge. He knew she didn't feel well but the woman had never been more sexy in his eyes. He couldn't remember ever wanting anyone more than he wanted her. Her beautiful skin was glowing, calling out to him.

"How are you feeling tonight Mia?" He asked gently kissing her neck causing her to moan.

"I feel ok." She responded. She desperately missed sex. She missed the feel of him buried inside her. Even though she knew it was perfectly safe to have sex she still felt nervous about it for whatever reason.

"Do you want me Mia?"

"I'll always want you."

 **She leaned forward kissing him passionately.**

" **Oh fuck. It's been too long." She whispered. Her body was already so wet for him, just from a look and a kiss.**

" **I want to make love to you Mia. You have no idea how beautiful you are carrying my baby."**

" **Go slow ok, be gentle with me." She pleaded while she stripped out of her nightgown.**

 **Shunsui smiled before taking her lips again. He reached his hands up, cupping her breast before she winced.**

" **What? What's wrong?"**

" **They seemed to be a little sore. Be careful with them." She smiled inviting him to continue. She missed him too much to stop now.**

 **Shunsui hesitated. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to be doing this. Mia looked at him, noticing his hesitation. She climbed into his lap, kissing him passionately and moaned against his lips.**

" **Let me take care of you."**

 **Mia could feel her body pulse at her declaration. It definitely had been too long since she allowed herself to feel him.**

 **Shunsui reached around her sliding his pants down his hips. He threw his head back in pleasure as he felt her slowly slide down on him, her body enveloping him.**

" **I almost forgot how good you felt." He grunted against her lips.**

 **Shunsui rested his hands on her hips, with her taking control he no longer worried about hurting her.**

 **Mia moved her hips slowly, her soft hands coming around his back while she rested her head on his warm chest.**

 **She rocked her body gently against his until she felt him tighten his grip, a sure sign he was close. She rocked her hips faster until she felt her own eruption, followed quickly by his.**

Mia stayed in his lap, pressing light kisses along his chest. Shunsui slowly ran his hands up and down her back inhaling deeply her sweet scent.

"That was..."

"Mmm." Mia mumbled rubbing her head against his chest. "Way over due."

"Mmmm." He grunted back.

Slowly he eased out of her and scooted down on the bed holding on to her so that she stayed on top of him.

Wrapped in his arms Mia was perfectly content to fall asleep right on top of him and if he minded he didn't say anything.

Mia smiled before drifting off to sleep. She tossed and turned and cried out loud. Finally he had had enough.

"Mia wake up!"

"What? What's wrong?" She asked sitting up. She looked down in a panic.

"What the hell Shunsui! Don't scare me like that."

Mia covered her eyes with her hand, willing the panic to subside and her heart rate to go back down.

"Mia you were crying and screaming in your sleep. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing." She said pressing her fingers into her eyes. "I told you it's just dreams."

"What happened?"

Mia let out a heavy breath.

"It was my cousin. Someone I haven't seen in years. Said he wanted to kill himself. But I kept saying he couldn't because I'm pregnant. Then you woke me up."

"Damn Mia. Are they always that depressing?"

"No." _Yes_. She thought quickly.

"Is that the worst one you've had?"

Mia nodded her head yes. _No, there's so much blood. Always so much blood._

"I'm sorry if I keep waking you up. If you like I can just go back to my own room and sleep there. That way I won't keep you up."

"I never said I wanted you to leave. I'm just worried about you. What can I do to help."

"Just hold me." Mia looked up at him. She reached out for him grasping his hand tightly. "That's all you really can do. It helps when I wake up and see you here."

Shunsui pulled her into him. He placed a small kiss on her head. Feeling utterly helpless he wrapped his arms around her and laid back, willing her to sleep a peaceful sleep.

The look of worry on his face made it clear to her. There was no way she could share with him the other dreams. Mia couldn't even admit to herself she was having dreams about losing the baby. _I don't want to worry him, after all they are just dreams.._

Mia closed her eyes and tried to drift off to sleep. _Six more weeks._ She thought. _I can relax in six more weeks..._


	4. Chapter 4

Mia laid quietly on the table in Captain Kurotsuchi lab. Captain Kotetsu was sitting next to Mia, holding her hand. Captain Kurotsuchi and his lieutenant, Akon were both operating the huge machine that would enable them all to see the tiny baby growing in Mia.

"When is your estimated due date Ms. Takahashi?"

"December 13."

"That puts you at about..."

"Seven weeks today." Mia interrupted.

"Very good, Ms. Takahashi."

Akon smiled at her before inputting the data in the computer. After a few more key strokes he came over carrying a thick wand.

"Ms. Takahashi we are going to step out of the room while you undress from the waste down. When your finish let us know and we will insert the device."

"Wait, inserting? You're inserting that where?" Mia asked alarmed.

"Uhh.." Akon blushed. "Through the..." He gestured awkwardly before clearing his voice. "Sorry Ms. Takahashi. This is a vaginal probe. It will provide us with the best view of the fetus. Excuse us."

Mia waited for them all to leave the room before pulling off the bottoms of her uniform. She took the sheet they left for her and wrapped it around her middle. Sitting back on the table she signaled for them to return to the room.

"Alright let's get started." Akon called walking into the room, Captain Kotetsu right behind him.

"Captain Kurotsuchi has asked me to finish the exam. I can assure you I know how to run the machine. Now please put your feet in the stirrups and scoot as close to the end as you can."

Mia placed her heels in the straps and scooted as far as she could to the end of the table. When she was ready Akon walked over holding the wand, a plastic coving over it and a jelly like substance coating it.

"Ms. Takahashi if you would, go ahead and insert this. It's just easier if you do it yourself."

Mia nodded to him taking the wand. After some awkward maneuvering she inserted it inside herself and laid back. Akon handled the wand moving it around for what seemed like several long moments while he recorded the measurements he needed.

"Ok, let me switch on the big screen. Are you ready to see your baby?"

"Yes!" Mia answered right away.

Captain Kotetsu took Mia's hand and smiled at her. It was such a genuine smile that Mia couldn't help but feel choked up.

"Ok, here it is."

Mia looked up at the screen blinking back tears. No amount of books and study could prepare her for what she was seeing. A teeny tiny bump in the middle of what looked like nothing. A small piece of her, and a small piece of her lover had came together to make the tiny baby up on the screen.

"You see this part right here?"

"Yes." She answered through tears.

Akon highlighted a small area and magnified it. It was pulsating frantically.

"That's your babies heartbeat. Let me switch on the speaker."

Mia listen as the sound of the heartbeat vibrated around the room. She was crying heavily now, overwhelmed with so much emotion. Her baby. Shunsui's baby. The heartbeat she had been waiting to hear for four weeks.

"160 beats per minute. Strong heartbeat Ms. Takahashi."

"Can I get a copy of a picture please? So I can show the father?"

"Of course. Let me print you a few copies. Alright your gonna feel a little uncomfortable for a minute while I pull this out."

Mia nodded. Akon pulled the wand out of her and placed it on the table. When he was finished he handed her a wad of towels to clean up with.

After Akon and Captain Kotetsu left the room Mia cleaned herself off before pulling her clothes back on. When she finished she walked over to the door and opened it back up allowing Akon and Captain Kotetsu back into the room. Akon handed her several printouts of her baby, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Have a good day ."

"Thank you so much Lieutenant Akon." She beamed.

"Congratulations Mia. Why don't we make an appointment for next week, then another for two weeks from now. We will do a repeat scan there and take more measurements, make sure your baby is growing. How have you been feeling? Any nausea? Morning sickness?"

"Oh yeah all of that. And something else."

"What's wrong?" Captain Kotetsu asked concerned.

"Dreams. Very vivid dreams. They are quite concerning."

"Well I don't know if this helps. , but Captain Kuchiki reported the same thing when she was expecting. I've read papers from the human world where other women have reported vivid dreams as well."

"Well that's a little reliving. They are quite disturbing."

"Are they keeping you up at night?"

"Some of them." Mia reached her hands down, holding her stomach. "Sometimes it's hard to shake the image and get back to sleep.."

"I can give you a mild sedative. Mix it in your tea before bed. It won't hurt the baby but might help you sleep through out the night."

"Thank you Captain. I'll think about it."

"Any other questions?"

"No, I'm sure I'll think of more when I walk out of here."

Captain Kotetsu laughed.

"You can always send me a message, ok Mia? I'll see you next week."

Mia was floating on air when she walked over to lunch. She desperately wanted to run to Shunsui and share the pictures with him but was unable. She knew he would be behind locked doors all day with his Lieutenants and various captains having meetings.

Mia grabbed a plate and began selecting some of the healthier food. She had never had a taste for them before, however now that she was pregnant she was determined to do right by her baby and eat better, and even though it killed her to she even asked Shunsui to stop going to get her some of those cream filled pastries she loved so much. Mia took her plate and walked over to her friend Hana.

"Hey how did the appointment go?" She asked as soon as Mia sat down.

Mia looked around to make sure no one was paying them any attention. Most of her fellow squad members were too busy eating or taking with their friends. Pulling the small picture out of her inner pocket she showed it to her friend.

"Oh wow!" She breathed out. "I can't believe you made that."

Mia laughed before tucking her photo away.

"Did you show that to the father?"

"No. He's busy all day I won't have time until later tonight."

"I'm so happy for you. Even though you won't tell me who the father is!"

Mia laughed lightly.

"Don't worry everyone will know soon enough."

"Have you told the Captain yet?"

"No. I'm going to, soon. It just feels like it's too early to tell anyone. Like if I tell everyone I'm jinxing it. I know it sounds stupid." Mia added shaking her head. She forced herself to eat some of the items on her plate, the meat at least knowing she needed the extra protein.

"You heard the heartbeat right? The risk drops to five percent after they find it."

"I did." Mia blushed. "160 beats per minute."

"That's got to be a relief."

"It really was."

Mia and Hana ate quietly after that before their attention was drawn to the front of the room. Several squad members were standing up and bowing deeply.

"What's going on?" Mia asked.

Before Hana could answer, Shunsui and his lieutenants walked into their line of vision. Shunsui, her lover and the father of her child.

Mia and Hana rose quickly bowing deeply as he passed, Mia's cheeks flushed a deep red. She could feel her legs shaking, her body twitching to get closer to him.

Just before the captain commander and his lieutenants left the room Mia had locked eyes with him. She wetted her lips, his gaze sending a rush of lust so strong she thought everyone would notice the way she was looking at him. Mia felt as if time had stopped for everyone except them. The whole room melted away and Mia could feel herself inch towards him. Shunsui gave her a quick wink before swiftly leaving the room.

Mia and Hana sat down. Mia let out a heavy breath she hadn't realized she was holding, visibly flustered.

"I don't know what you see in that man, honestly." Hana laughed.

"Sex. I see sex. Toe curling, apologizing to your mother sex."

Hana laughed at her comment. She shook her head at her friend.

"What's the father of your baby say about your infatuation?"

Mia just shrugged. She felt guilty not telling her friend the truth.

"I don't think he minds. I mean it's just a fantasy right?"

"I think I would mind if I were him. I mean Captain Commander Kyoraku isn't picky. It's not like he wouldn't if presented with the opportunity. So it's not a complete stretch to think you might cheat with him."

"Hana. I would never cheat on the father of my baby. I love him."

"You mean to tell me if he-" She said pointing to the door Shunsui had just left through. "Came up to you and told you he wanted to fuck you, you would pass it up? As much as you drool over that man!"

Mia laughed.

"Honestly. If I was still in a relationship then I would have no choice."

Hana gave her friend a look that very much said she didn't believe her causing Mia to laugh awkwardly. Mia tried to avoid the conversation for the rest of lunch trying to get Hana on the topic of some of the other Captain's. Once they started talking about eligible squad members it was much easier to avoid the subject for Shunsui.

Finally after what felt like the longest day of Mia's life it was time to sign out of work. Most days Mia went to Shunsui's room in the middle of dinner time. That gave everyone enough time to get to where they were supposed to be and she went unnoticed sneaking around the squad one barracks. Today however, Mia couldn't wait a seconded longer. She skipped her dinner and went straight to his room, hoping to catch him before he went to eat.

"Mia what are you doing here so early?" He asked hesitantly, quickly closing his door.

"I couldn't wait to see you anymore."

Mia practically ran to him, reaching her arms around his wide body. She felt him hesitate slightly before he returned her hug.

"What's the matter Shunsui?"

"Nothing. It's just that I was expecting you much later."

"Sorry. I just couldn't wait to do this."

Mia pulled him down for a searing hot kiss. She moaned against him, her hands reaching lower on his body.

"Mia.."

"Yes?" She breathed, slowly running her hand up and down his length. "So hard already." Mia bit her lip looking into the gaze of her lover, expecting to see the lust she felt, or at the very least the lust his body was reflecting. Nothing prepared her for the look of worry on his face.

"Mia, were out in the open my love."

"So?"

Shunsui backed away slowly, allowing her hands to release him before he continued.

"We shouldn't be doing this where anyone can see."

Mia looked at him briefly confused. A few squad members were running around but none of them paid them any attention.

"Let's go inside then."

Mia started towards the door. She inhaled sharply as Shunsui came in front of her, blocking the door from her reach. Mia was starting to get irritated, her hormones causing her brain to think of all kinds of far fetched scenarios.

From inside the room Mia heard a small crash. She looked up at Shunsui, his face scrunched up and guilty. _Guilty_ , she thought. _Why the fuck does he look guilty_.

Mia could feel her heart pounding as she started to slowly process what was going on.

"Mia it's not how it seems."

"Oh? How it seems? It seems like there's something in your room you don't want me to see. If that's not the case maybe you should let me open the door."

"Mia I can't. Not yet."

"Please be honest with me." Mia sighed looking into his soft feet eye.

Shunsui looked at her and Mia noticed a hint of disappointment. He guided her away from the door before she spoke again.

"Are you hiding something from me?"

"Yes."

Mia nodded her head.

"Will you tell me what's going on?"

"Eventually."

Mia bit her lower lip, unsure of what to do. She could feel tears pricking her eyes. Her brain was screaming at her to push open the door and see the hussy he was hiding behind it. Her heart telling her to trust him, to trust what they had together.

They stood in silence until the door swung open and Captain Yadomaru walked out.

"Oh, is this her?" She asked Shunsui.

Mia noted the hint of curiosity in her voice. She also noted how close she came to stand next to him. Shunsui just nodded his response, not trusting himself to speak. They looked at each other for what felt like forever to Mia before they looked away from each other.

Mia looked between them, their silent exchange and felt a twang of jealousy. How could another woman be so close to him, _how could another woman communicate so effortlessly with him while I_...

Mia took a step forward, closing the physical distance between them. She pulled on his shoulder, attempting to turn his body away from her. Searching for a hint of privacy. Mia glanced at Captain Yadomaru. She was standing with her arms crossed, her brow slightly raised as if daring her to do something. Gripping the front of his uniform Mia pulled him down to her to whisper in his ear.

When she was finished Mia pulled back to study his face, memorizing the tender look in his features before placing a soft kiss against his lips. She slowly parted her lips, pushing her tongue out to stroke him softly. Tenderly letting him know she loved him. She gave him a shy smile before handing him the picture of their baby. Mia slowly backed away from him, and after saying a quick goodbye to Captain Yadomaru, walked down the hall and to dinner.

"What did she say?" Lisa asked opening the door.

"She said she trusted me." He answered, still stunned.

He looked down at the picture in his hand, trying to make out where the baby was. A small tiny bloop in the middle of nothing, his baby.

"It really is the size of a blueberry." He whispered to himself before tucking the picture into the pocket of his uniform and following Lisa back into his room.

"She's way too good for you, you realize that right?"

"Every day." He answered as he closed the door.


	5. Chapter 5

Mia ate a small dinner before walking back over to her room. As hard as she tried to, she just couldn't seem to find the good mood she was in earlier.

It didn't matter how bad the situation appeared Mia was adamant. She told him she trusted him and she meant it. Mia was pretty sure they had had a history, pretty sure something had went on between them before she left the soul society. She was also pretty sure something had happened a few times when she came back to the soul society as well. It was hard for her to try and remain rational when she had all these hormones trying to break her down.

Mia decided the only thing left to do was crawl into bed. When she got back to her room she took her picture out, looking at it once more before putting it in the small book she was keeping by her bed. Before she could strip out of her clothes however there was a loud knock at her door.

Mia walked quickly to the door opening it. She had hoped to see Shunsui and was not disappointed.

"Hey."

"Hey." Mia said quietly.

"Can I come in?"

Mia stepped back quietly letting him in the room.

"Are you mad at me Mia?"

"Should I be?" She asked coming in and sitting down on her bed. "Should I be mad about a secret meeting between former lovers?"

"Lisa wasn't my-" he started but stopped when he saw her face. "You said you trusted me."

"I do."

"Then lets go home my love." He said simply holding his hand out to her.

Mia took it, and he pulled her off the bed and out the door. Together they stepped out into the night, a cool spring breeze blowing across their faces.

"How was your appointment?"

"It went good I think. They found the heartbeat, that was the most important part. 160 beats per minute. I got to listen to it. I wish you could have been there." Mia added looking a bit sad.

The first time it was heard and he had to miss it because she insisted he stay behind.

"Maybe you can go to the next one." She added hopeful looking up at him.

"I would like that."

After a walk through the dark streets they came to a stop in front of his door.

"Mia about earlier."

"Yes?" She asked inviting him to go further.

"Well it's just easier to show you."

"Show me?"

"Close your eyes, beautiful."

Mia looked at him briefly before she closed her eyes. The smile he had on his face before she shut had caused her to relax a bit. She could hear him open the door and he reached out for her, guiding her inside. Shunsui placed her in the middle of the room before stepping away from her.

"Ok don't move." She heard him say.

She could hear the sound of a screen being pushed back, a door opening before he came back over to her. He guided her further into his living quarters before they stopped.

"Ok Mia, open your eyes."

Mia opened her eyes, unprepared for the sight in front of her. He had some how transformed one of the side rooms into a makeshift nursery. A small wooden crib sat in the corner of the room. On the other side was a wooden object she had seen in a book, a dresser she remembered, used for storing clothes. On top of the dresser laid a thick pad and a bunch of diapers. Shunsui had made a diaper changing station.

"How did you do all this?" She asked walking around the room looking at some of the small stuffed toys he had picked.

"Lisa helped me with most of it. I had some trouble putting some of this stuff together. She's the only one who knew what was going on so I asked her to help me."

"This is amazing."

Mia felt her eyes begin to burn, fat tears falling quickly. She walked over to the dresser, noticing the small picture she had given him propped up in a metal frame. She turned to look at Shunsui at a complete loss for words.

"This is so beautiful. Thank you."

Mia walked over to him, giving him a big hug. She let out a big breath, incredibly relieved and so happy to be with him. How lucky she was that he loved her.

"There's more." He smiled widely.

"What? You mean you've got another surprise for me?" Mia asked amazed.

"Just close your eyes again."

Mia closed her eyes as he again guided her around his captains quarters. He stood her in the middle of the next room before walking away from her.

"Ok Mia. Open your eyes."

Mia opened her eyes smiling. The room had been transformed. Rose petals were scattered everywhere. The room was glowing by the light of scattered candles.

In the center of it all stood Shunsui holding a single rose.

"Marry me Mia. We don't have to tell anyone right away if you don't want to, just sign the paper." He gestured to a piece of paper sitting on his desk. "Be my wife."

"Are you sure? We've not been together five months yet."

"I'm so sure Mia. I've never been more sure about anything. I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled.

Mia walked swiftly over to him. She took the rose from him smelling it and smiling. Together they signed the paper on his desk. When she finished she looked up at him, the happy expression on his face causing more tears to fall.

"Fucking hormones! I can't stop crying." Mia chuckled between sobs.

Shunsui swept her in a hug, holding on to her tightly.

"As long as they are happy tears." He laughed back.

Shunsui leaned down, placing a soft kiss on her mouth. Mia moaned against him. Shunsui let his hands roam down her body, gently squeezing her before he pulled away.

"Are you too tired?"

"No. I want to have sex with my husband."

"Are you sure Mia? I have no problem just going to bed."

"I do." She replied simply. "I only plan on getting married once."

Mia reached forward and tugged on his pink kimono.

" **I want to see you. I want to see all of you."**

" **You're going to make me blush, darling wife."**

 **Shunsui stood by as Mia stripped him of his clothes. He could feel his body harden under the loving gaze of his new wife. In that moment he was so thankful. Thankful that Mia loved him enough to be his wife, thankful to Jushiro for coming up with that plan, and thankful to Nanao and Captain Kuchiki for going through with it.**

" **You like what you see?" Shunsui asked, trying to play it cool. His voice however, could not hide his excitement.**

" **Every inch." Mia replied after a quick scan. She bit her lower lip, looking up at him through her thick eye lashes.**

" **Now it's my turn." He grinned mischievously.**

 **Shunsui took his time undressing Mia. Then he reached his hand out to graze her soft skin. He could feel her body reacting to his presence, watched a shiver go through her. Shunsui circled her like a predator.**

" **You're look mighty fine, Ms. Takahashi."**

" **Ah-ah. That's Mrs. Kyoraku. Get it right."**

" **Oh my mistake." He chuckled innocently before coming up behind her, his fingers trailing down her back making her shiver again.**

 **He leaned over, his hot breath on her skin and whispered in her ear.**

" **You're looking mighty fine there Mrs. Kyoraku."**

" **You're more than welcome to look." Mia gasped. She could feel him pressed fully against her.**

 **Shunsui reached up bringing his hand to her hair, unwinding it slowly and letting it fall down her back. He gathered a fistful of the silky stands and brushing them to the side placed gentle kisses along her shoulders.**

 **Mia turned her head around capturing his lips in a deep kiss. She pulled back, catching his gaze.**

" **I love you so much." She smiled sweetly. She wiped a small tear from her eye before laughing. "I'm just so happy."**

 **Mia gasped as she felt him lift her off the floor. He cradled her to his body and walked her to the bed. Shunsui placed her down softly in the middle of the bed. He climbed in after her immediately reaching for her. Gentler he swept sweet kisses on every inch of her he could reach.**

 **Shunsui went slow, savoring her. They laid kissing for so long she felt as if they were sharing a single breath. Finally he spread her legs and pushed into her. Mia moaned as she felt herself stretching to take as much of him as she could. They sat connect and still as he ran his hands all over her, teasing her, worshiping her.**

 **They moved together in perfect sync slowly drawing out the pleasure they gave one another until late into the night. With a final thrust, Mia cried out passionately as she erupted around him. She could hear him grunt before he let go, spilling his seed into her.**

They laid tangled up in each other's arms. Shunsui ran his hands up and down her stroking her while she hummed. Both of them savoring this moment of complete happiness.

"Do you remember the first time we had sex?" Shunsui asked her.

"Vividly." She answered laughing. "I always knew you would be a fantastic lover." She added placing small kisses on his chest.

"You felt so wonderful Mia. It was like heaven being inside you. I was completely awed by you. I've been with a lot of women Mia. No one compared to you. Just thought I would share that with you, my love."

Mia craned her neck in order to get a better look at him. She gave him a soft kiss on his lips before tucking into his side and falling into a deep peaceful sleep.

The week of her next appointment came and went quickly. She wasn't able to see her baby at eight weeks which had disappointed her a little bit. Her weight and everything was right on track and she had no pain, and no cramping to report. Everything was progressing as planned. Mia was the happiest she had ever been.

On the morning of her 9 week appointment Mia woke up feeling great. Quietly she rolled out of bed, attempting to sneak out before Shunsui could notice. She breathed a sigh of relief thinking she had succeeded when she felt his hand grab her. Mia squealed as he tugged her, pulling her back into the bed. Wrapping his arms around her Shunsui nuzzled her neck, tickling her with his scruffy beard.

"Let's just stay in bed all day."

"I can't, I'm sorry. I would love to do nothing with you all day but I have an appointment." Mia glanced at the clock and flinched. "I'm going to be late again. Besides Nanao will be here any minute."

"I don't care if Nanao sees us." Shunsui tightened his grip on her pouting. "Why do you keep making the appointments so early?"

Mia laughed, untangling herself from his grip.

"That's because the Captains won't make appointments for afternoons. You have a habit of calling meetings with them. Everyone prefers to get their work done before you even crawl out of bed."

"That's not true!" Shunsui protested. "Mia are you serious?"

"I couldn't make this up even if I wanted to. You made me late to the last appointment and If I don't leave now I wont be able to eat breakfast."

Mia leaned over giving him a quick kiss before flying out the door. She needed to eat but she was trying not to overexert herself on the way to the relief station.

 _That husband of mine,_ Mia thought rolling her eyes, _can sleep through a catastrophe but manages to wake up every time I try to sneak out of the bed. It's kinda sweet though_ , Mia smiled.

Mia grabbed a quick bite before heading to Captain Kotetsu's office to wait.

"Welcome back Mia." Captain Kotetsu said as she walked in.

"Thank you Captain."

Captain Kotetsu sat down at taking a good look at Mia.

"Wow, you look great."

"Oh, thanks Captain."

"You're practically glowing Mia."

Mia smiled widely.

"I'm very happy. I'm so in love and we even got married. I'm having a baby. What's not to be happy about?"

"Well, congratulations. When did you get married? I hope this means I'll be able to meet the father soon. I assume he's the reason your always running late."

"Ha! You have no idea." Mia laughed under her breath. "We got married two weeks ago, after the scan I had."

"What a special day! So how have you been feeling? Any nausea?"

"A little. Not as much as before. As long as I nibble on food all day it's not so bad."

"Ok. How about bloating, gas or constipation?"

"Yes. Although it's not as bad as it was a week ago."

"Ok. Why don't you lay back and we'll try to take a peek at your baby. My equipment isn't as advanced as Captain Kurotsuchi."

Mia laid back, untying her uniform and pulling her pants down low. Captain Kotetsu stuffed some towels under them to protect her clothing before squirting her with the thick gooey substance.

"Alright here we go."

Captain Kotetsu placed the device on Mia's pelvic bone and pressed down.

"Let me know if it hurts."

Mia watched the screen. She was excited to see and hear her baby again. After several long minutes of searching Mia started to grow concerned.

"Is something wrong?" She asked

Captain Kotetsu sighed.

"Just hang tight for awhile Mia. Im going to get Captain Kurotsuchi here. "

"Should I be concerned Captain?"

"I still can't see anything. I want to get a good look in there and take some measurements. Why don't you go ahead and get more comfortable. I'll send a note to your Captain letting her know where you are." Captain Kotetsu smiled lightly at Mia.


	6. Chapter 6

Shunsui was in a hurry to get home that night. He knew how excited Mia would be to share with him the details of her appointment. That was what she had done after every appointment.

Shunsui liked how happy she was about becoming a mother. For someone so young he would have expected more hesitation. After all this bundle of joy as it was sometimes referred to had bound her to him forever. She didn't hesitate, didn't flinch when he asked her to marry him. It still threw him for a loop how much someone could loved him.

Smiling to himself, Shunsui sped up his pace. All he wanted was to lay in bed with his wife and maybe look through the pregnancy books she had brought.

When he got back to his captains quarters he noticed that Mia had not been there. Walking through once more checking all the rooms Shunsui walked out the door to Mia's room.

Shunsui stood outside her door after knocking for what felt like an hour. He started feeling alarmed and swiftly walked down to the squad 13 mess hall. He spotted her friend, Hana, but no Mia.

Making a split decision Shunsui walked over to her. Hana looked up at him shocked to be approached by the head captain himself.

"How you doing there Ms.."

"Tanaka. Hana Tanaka."

"Right, right. Ms. Tanaka, I'm looking for someone. A friend of yours, Mia Takahashi?"

"Yeah she's my friend." Hana smiled. She couldn't wait to tell Mia who had come looking for her. It would blow her mind.

"Have you seen her today?"

"Oh. No." Hana said looking worried. "She never showed up for..."

Shunsui walked off before Hana could finish. There was only one place left to check. Filled with dread Shunsui flash stepped to the relief station.

Mia laid on a bed in the relief station in total confusion. She had sat for at least four hours waiting. Finally Akon had come into the room wheeling a portable device like the one in Captain Kurotsuchi lab. After undressing Akon came back into the room to take the pictures and measurements.

"Is everything ok Lieutenant Akon?" She remembered asking.

"I can't say for sure. I'll have to get these pictures to my Captain. Only he can say for sure one way or another."

Mia rolled over in her bed. That was four hours ago. She had overheard someone say they had been looking for Captain Kurotsuchi all day with no luck.

Why can't he be in his lab where he belongs! Mia though bitterly. Shunsui must be so worried about me.

As if her thoughts had conjured the man, Shunsui appeared in the doorway.

"Shun.."

"Mia what's going on?" He interrupted coming into the room. "Are you ok?"

Captain Kotetsu came into the room before she could answer. Shunsui shifted to the corner before Captain Kurotschui and his lieutenant came in.

"Well, this can't be good." Mia said sitting up in the bed.

"Mia I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting so long. We wanted to go over all the results before we talked to you."

Mia took a deep breath, her brain trying to take in all that was going on while her body warned her nothing good was about to happen. She could feel hot flashes threatening her and her heart started to beat frantically. Please no! Please no!

"Unfortunately Mia.."

Mia felt her stomach drop at those words. Those simple little words.

"They just aren't where they needed to be at this point."

"What does that mean?" Shunsui asked from the corner of the room.

All eyes turned to him. Shunsui had somehow remained invisible to everyone until that point.

"Captain Kyoraku, this is highly inappropriate. I appreciate the concern you show for your subordinates but I must ask you to leave us." Captain Kotetsu announced.

"Yes of course Captain Kotetsu."

Shunsui shot a quick glance towards Mia before moving to step out.

"No!" Mia shouted, halting him. "Please don't leave me."

Mia reached her hand out to him, intertwining their fingers when he came closer. Captain Kotetsu looked confused while Captain Kurostuchi just looked bored. Mia cleared her throat.

"He's my husband. He's the father. Please don't ask him to leave. I need him."

"It means..." Captain Kotetsu continued as if there had been no interruption. "Her levels are not as high as they should be, which would indicate a problem with development. The scan also shows that the baby is measuring about eight weeks and a day."

"But I'm 9 weeks today." Mia stated.

"Yes. We checked the previous scan to make sure we had the correct dating. Mia, we were also unable to find the heartbeat."

"Holy fuck!" Mia cried out.

She choked back thick sobs, unable to further process anything else Captain Kotetsu was trying to say to her. She could feel Shunsui next to her, feel him holding her tight. Could hear him talking but she couldn't hear what he was saying. Couldn't hear beyond the pounding in her own ears.

"I have some time opened up for Thursday. Come back to my lab and I can do another scan to confirm this information."

Mia look up at Captain Kotetsu for a full five minutes before she realized Captain Kurostuchi had been the one speaking to her. She couldn't seem to make noise so she nodded her head.

"What happens now?" Shunsui asked. His hand now squeezing Mia's so tightly her fingers were starting to turn white.

"We will do the second scan to confirm. In the mean time, you might start feeling symptoms, if you haven't already. Have you had any pain?"

Mia shook her head no, still unable to speak.

"It'll feel like cramps. You might also experience some heavy bleeding."

"Does she need to come back in?"

"You can bring her back if that makes you more comfortable. Usually there's no reason to be alarmed unless it's heavy bleeding."

Mia sat just letting the words pour over her. She was more than willing to let Shunsui ask the question. To let him take care of her. She could feel him helping her up off the bed. Felt him place his pink kimono over her shoulders and guide her out of the room. He stayed silent letting her cry, letting her talk. She couldn't even remember what she was saying, the whole moment was a blur.

Mia looked around, shocked to be back in his captains quarters. She stripped off her clothes and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Mia caught her reflection in the mirror. She turned to her side, looking at the tiny protrusion of her stomach. Her hands ran over it before she gripped it tightly. Tears filled her eyes as she tried to come to terms with the fact the tiny baby she was growing had just stopped. Her sorrow brought her to her knees, knocking a few of her items down in the bathroom.

Shunsui came running in at the sound of the loud crash.

"Are you ok?"

"No I'm not. I'm so confused. I don't understand what I did wrong." Mia curled into a ball on the floor sobbing freely.

"What do you need Mia? What do you need me to do?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to take a shower. I don't know if I have the energy now. Just take me to bed. Maybe it's all a dream. Maybe it'll all just go away."

"Mia..."

"Don't." She pleaded. "Just don't."

Mia stood up walking past him back into the bedroom. She pulled out her night clothes, putting them on and climbed into the bed where she cried for hours. She clutched her stomach begging for it to be wrong. For it to have been a mistake.

Mia felt Shunsui slip into bed with her, felt him lay a comforting arm around her but she couldn't respond to him. She couldn't bring herself to touch him back or to speak. She cried herself to sleep praying everything would change when she woke the next morning.

The next day Mia laid in bed all day. Shunsui left for a few hours but came back to find Mia in the same spot on the bed. He came and sat next to where she was laying.

"How are you feeling? Any pain?"

"No I feel fine. Physically I feel fine."

"Any bleeding?"

"No."

Mia didn't talk beyond that. She ate when he brought her food. She tried not to ignore him but she couldn't think of anything beyond tomorrow and what answers she would get. She mostly just cried and when she wasn't crying she was sleeping.

She woke up the next morning going through the motions of getting dressed. Together her and Shunsui walked out the door and towards the squad 12 barracks.

Mia walked into the room. She looked at the big screen and lost all control. Sobbing freely she leaned against the table she would be laying on for support.

"Does that screen need to be on for this?" Shunsui asked.

"No not at all. Akon switch it off. Ms. Takahashi go ahead and undress from the waist down. Do let us know when you are ready." Captain Kurostuchi ordered.

He left the room, indicating everyone should giving Shunsui a pointed look. He returned the look daring him to say something. Shunsui had decided he wasn't going to leave Mia's side. Not for one minute.

Mia took off her hakama and wrapped the sheet around her body before stepping up onto the table and laying down.

"Are you ready for this Mia?" Shunsui asked coming over to her. He placed his hand on her head the other over her small hand. Leaning down he pressed a swift kiss to her forehead, and looked into her eyes.

"Mia. Whatever happens...I..I just."

"Let's get this over with please." Mia replied.

Shunsui didn't like the desperation in her voice, or how the light in her eyes was doused by the sadness. He had seen that reflected in his own eyes once and it went down a hard road.

Shunsui nodded his head and yelled for Captain Kurostuchi to come back into the room.

Captain Kurostuchi sat behind the machine while his lieutenant readied the wand for the examination. After slipping on a plastic cover and some thick jelly Akon approached Mia.

"Did you want to..."

"Just put it in."

Akon glanced at Shunsui quickly as if to say sorry before lifting up the sheet and placing the device inside her.

Mia sat on the table while Akon held the device for his Captain. She could hear Captain Kurostuchi banging on the keyboard, taking pictures. Mia looked everywhere but at him. She could feel Shunsui next to her but still couldn't bring herself to reach out to him.

"Very well, Akon. Removed the device, this examination is over."

"Yes Captain."

"Ms. Takahashi please put your clothes back on, then we can talk."

When Mia had finished getting dressed Captain Kurostuchi, Captain Kotetsu and Lieutenant Akon all walked into the room.

"I'm so sorry Mia. There hasn't been any changes." Captain Kotetsu started.

Mia look up at her, her eyes red and raw from the tears. She lightly nodded her head before reaching out for Shunsui. She needed him. Needed her husband. Mia laid her head in his shoulders finally letting him comfort her.

"What are her options? Does she have any?"

"Yes. She can wait for the process to happen naturally, which could take up to four full weeks."

"Oh no. No no no." Mia cried shaking her head.

The thought of going up to 4 weeks waiting for her body to release the baby was torture. Shunsui pulled her closer, holding her tighter.

"The other option is medication. I could give her some medication to help speed that process along, that could still take her days to pass everything though giving how far along she is."

"There is a third option." Captain Kurostuchi interrupted.

"And that is?" Shunsui asked dreading what the man would say.

"A small operation. I could go in and remove the fetus, as well as all the tissue."

"That's completely..."

"It's the option with the least amount of pain and suffering for your wife." He interrupted. "I don't think you comprehend the amount of pain and bleeding she will have to suffer."

"Ultimately the decision lies with Mia." Captain Kotetsu injected before Shunsui could reply. "Mia why don't you go home and think about it. Let your mind process everything and then decided. There's no reason you need to answer right away."

"Thank you Captain Kotetsu. I think I'll do that." Mia replied.

She stood up slowly and walked out the door. Shunsui stood up and made to follow her but she held her hand up to stop him.

"I just need some time. Please."

"Mia I don't think..."

"Please. I'll meet you back home. Just let me walk it alone."

Mia walked out before waiting for his response.

"Will she be ok on her own?"

"She should be fine. However I might be a bit worried about the way she's handling it all emotionally."

Shunsui left the room feeling completely useless. Mia was in pain. She was suffering and he had no idea how to comfort her.

Hours later Shunsui sat in a private room in the back of the restaurant he had frequented when Jushiro was still alive. The horrified faces of Nanao and Captain Kuchiki's burned into his mind he lifted the ochoko to his lips hesitating.

"I sure could use some of your advice right about now old friend."

Shunsui tipped the cup back and drank. He sighed heavily as he poured himself another shot.

"Mia wants to be alone, but I don't really want to leave her alone. I don't want to upset her, especially when she's already so upset. What advice would you give old friend?"

Shunsui slammed back the second shot, then a third, then a fourth. He sat in the quiet, remembering the look on Mia'a face when all her hopes were dashed. He would have given his life to change things for her.

Shunsui drank so deeply that night, he hadn't noticed the sleek figure that had slipped into the room and kicked him. The impact pushing him face forward.

"What the are you doing here! Get your ass home and take care of your wife!"

"Lisa is that you?" Shunsui asked still a bit dazed. "How did you know I was here?"

"Nanao sent me. She told me what happened. She figure you would need someone to kick some sense into you."

"Mia wanted to be alone."

"She wanted to walk home alone. That didn't mean she wanted to sit alone for hours."

Where the hell does she get her information.

"Besides." She continued. "You're married now. You're supposed to go through this together. Now get up you drunk, and go home."

Lisa pulled him to his feet. He swayed a bit before thanking her and walking out the door. What she said was right. That's just the thing Jushiro would have said if he had been there. Splashing some water on his face Shunsui headed home to be with Mia.

When he arrived back to his room he saw Mia sitting on the edge of the bed, the framed picture in her hands. She looked up at him speaking before he had a chance.

"Where have you been?"

"I had to talk to Nanao and Captain Kuchiki. More importantly how are you feeling?"

"I don't know. I'm just so shocked."

"No pain or bleeding?"

"No. That's what makes this so hard. It would almost be easier to accept if I was in pain or bleeding but it's nothing. It doesn't feel real. I have to keep telling myself that it is."

Shunsui sat next to her, bringing with him the strong smell of alcohol.

"You're drunk?"

"I might have had a bit to drink."

"I'm going to bed. We can talk when you're augoing to remember what the hell I'm saying."

"I'm Sorry Mia." Shunsui ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

"I'm not mad. I'm just not going to do this when you won't remember it."

Mia pulled back the covers climbing into the bed. She pulled them all the way up to her ears, desperately seeking some form of comfort.

"Do you want me to leave?" Shunsui asked reluctantly.

"Do whatever you want."

Mia flinched at how harsh her words sounded. She sat up and looked at him.

"If you want to stay with me please stay. If you want to leave then you should go."

She tried to give him a small smile but failed. Instead she rolled back over and laid down silently crying. Why can't I just ask him to stay?

Mia held her breath as she felt him move. She could feel him, behind her, next to her. He didn't touch her, didn't say anything. Mia released the breath she was holding, relieved he chose to stay with her. She willed herself to reach out for him, to show Shunsui how much she needed him.

After an hour chiding herself Mia finally rolled over and buried her head into his warm chest. She felt his arms come around her and squeeze her tight. Shunsui kissed the top of her head and Mia felt herself let go. In his arms she cried until she fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Mia slept poorly. She tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable. Finally she gave up and climbed out of bed. She found herself in the bathroom, surprised to see that she had finally started to bleed. She sat for a minute crying for the life that had ended.

Walking out of the bathroom Mia decided to go to the small room Shunsui had put together for the baby. _The baby I would no longer be able to give him._

She ran her hand over the smooth surface of the crib thinking back on the night Shunsui had surprised her with the room. It had also been the night he asked her to marry him. _I hope he's not regretting it now. Now that there's no baby._

Mia cried as thoughts continued to impale her. She slumped down on the floor, with her back to the crib and cried. She felt so small in the vast world, like he plans and life were so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. How could the world continue to move when she was so miserable. Mia brought her knees up, resting her head on them and continued to cry on the cold hard floor.

Shunsui woke up alone. Worried about his wife he rolled out of bed throwing on a loose kosode and searching about his Captain's quarters. He spotted her sitting on the floor against the crib he had brought for her. _Damn. I knew I should have gotten rid of that stuff before she came home yesterday._

Shunsui walked back to the room, grabbing a spare blanket. He draped it over Mia before sitting on the floor next to her.

"What are you doing?"

"Just thinking." She replied quietly. "About the night you showed me this room."

"And you thought I was having an affair with Lisa." He chuckled lightly.

"I did not!" She protested, swatting his arm lightly. Mia pulled the blanket he placed over her tighter around herself and sighed.

"How are you feeling?"

"I don't know." She leaned into him closing her eyes. "No pain or anything but I started to bleed a little."

They sat in silence for a while, both of them deep in thought.

"I think I want to do the surgery."

"Are you sure?" He asked looking at her. "Wouldn't it be better to let it happen naturally?"

"I can't." She started, crying once again. "I can't handle this. It's only been two days and it's killing me. I can't sit here for weeks just waiting for it to happen. Every time I run to the bathroom, worried if it's going to happen. If I'm going to see her...I..."

"Ok. It's ok Mia." He put his arm around her pulling her closer. "I'll let Captain Kurostuchi know."

"I'm so sorry Shunsui." She cried out. "I really wanted to give you a beautiful baby." Mia wiped away her tears, trying to keep it together long enough to have a serious talk.

"Mia it's ok. This isn't your fault. I know that. I need you to know that."

Mia nodded her head at him, her silent sobs killing him.

"And one day, if you want. When you're ready we can try this again. This doesn't have to be our last and only chance."

Mia looked up at him, wiping her swollen eyes.

"You want to try again?"

"If it'll make you happy Mia I'll give you one hundred babies."

Mia leaned over and kissed him lightly. She couldn't explain it but those words, those simple words had lifted a weight off her chest. She wasn't completely better, and it would be a long time before she felt ready to try again. Somehow though just knowing there was another chance. She would use that thought to pull herself through this.

"Will you be ok on your own for a bit? I have some things I need to take care of. Nanao will be here. If you need anything just let her know. I'll be here in a flash."

"I'll be fine. Take care of your business. I should probably get some sleep. I haven't been sleeping well."

Shunsui stood up, stretching his large body. Reaching down he helped Mia stand on her feet. As she started to walk towards the bedroom Shunsui scooped her up in his arms.

"Let me carry you."

"I can walk." She started to protest.

"It's all I can do for you. Let me do this."

Mia wrapped her arms around his neck, letting him carry her back into the bedroom. He placed her on the middle of the bed.

"Alright Mia I'll be back soon. Get some rest." Shunsui leaned down and kissed her forehead lightly before leaving the room.

Mia laid in the bed most of the day just thinking. Shunsui had said they could try again. Although that was true Mia wasn't sure if she would ever be ready to take the chance again. She rested her hand on her stomach wondering when her heart would mend. She wiped away a few remaining tears and closed her eyes. Pulling the covers tightly around her Mia finally fell asleep.

It was several hours later when Mia found herself being shaken awake.

"I brought you dinner. Do you want me to bring it here?"

"No. Let me get out of this bed."

Mia stood up and stretched before walking out towards the small table he had set up in the next room.

"I didn't know what to get so I brought you a little bit of everything." Shunsui said as he placed several bowls on the table in the sitting room.

Mia sat quietly picking at the food.

"Aren't your hungry?" Shunsui asked.

"Not really."

"Mia.."

"I know. I'm trying ok."

"How about some fresh air then. A walk?"

"I don't really feel like walking either."

"Mia.."

"Fine." Mia groaned in frustration.

She really wasn't in the mood for much of anything. Her lower back was starting to ache and the small amount of food she had managed to eat wasn't really sitting well with her. Mia sighed figuring she should give this one to him. Shunsui was trying so hard to take care of her. How could it hurt to take a short walk with him.

Shunsui reached out for her and Mia placed her hand in his. He gave her a small smile and a gentle squeeze.

"We'll go slow." He said pulling her forward.

Mia was silent as she walked with him. Although it felt nice to be out in the open sky she was battling steady bought's of pain. A cool breeze shifted through her hair when she felt the first squeeze.

"What's wrong?"

"I..I think it's starting." She said. Mia tried to breath through the pain.

"I'll take you home." Shunsui replied scooping her up at once.

Shunsui flashed stepped back to his captains quarters, placing Mia on the bed.

"Should I take you to Captain Kotesu?" He asked, watching her curl up into a small ball on the bed.

"I don't know."

"Does it hurt?"

"So far it's ok." She replied through gritted teeth. "It's not what I was expecting at all."

Shunsui stood back watching the pain flicker across her face. Mia was putting up a tough act but her face couldn't hide what she was feeling.

"I'll send a message to Captain Kotesu and let her know what's going on. I'll be right back Mia."

Mia laid on the bed, her mind trying to process the pain she was feeling. She had expected to feel it more centered around her stomach, however, she was feeling it in her pelvis. It felt as if it was on fire. Her lower back continued to ache as her uterus constricted, her body working hard to dispel her lost baby.

Mia squeezed her eyes shut, breathing deeply. Focusing all her attention on the present she tried not to think too much about what her body was doing, or more accurately why it was doing it. She had almost succeeded when she felt it. A tiny rip in her abdomen. Almost as if she had pulled a muscle, or tore a ligament. She rocked her body and cried as realization hit her. _That's it. She's gone. She's really really gone._ Mia was so sure she had felt the baby detach and it had broken her.

Mia wailed loudly bringing Shunsui back into the room in a panic. He scooped her back up and flash stepped to the relief station. She was placed in a bed wearing a standard gown before she snapped out of it.

"How did I get here?" Mia asked softy.

Shunsui and Captain Kotesu turned around quickly.

"I brought you here. Don't you remember?"

"No."

"How are you feeling Mia?" Captain Kotesu asked.

"I'm fine. I mean it hurts but it's not too horrific."

"What do you remember?" Shunsui asked.

"I remember walking with you. Then I started to feel weird. I remember going home. Laying on the bed. I remember..."

Mia stopped, wiping away fresh tears. _How in the world could I tell him I felt the moment the baby detached?_

"You screamed Mia. And you wouldn't answer me so I brought you here."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I think I was just in shock. I really am ok."

Shunsui watched helplessly as she winced with pain. _Captain Kotesu explained it could take a while for her to pass all the blood and tissue. There's no way I could stand seeing her like this for much longer._

"What about the surgery Captain Kurotsuchi talked about?" He asked, hoping he was doing what was best for her.

"I didn't know you were considering that Mia."

"I was going to talk to him about it Monday. However now that I've already started... Isn't it too late?"

"Not at all. You've barely passed any tissue. It could take up to 4 days to weeks to pass it all, given how slow your moving along."

Mia looked up at Shunsui. She could see the worry etched in his face. _I can't put him through anymore of this, he's so worried._

"Please. I would like to have the surgery."

"I will inform Captain Kurotsuchi and get things ready."

Shunsui rushed to Mia's side as soon as the door closed.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asked, stroking her hair.

"Yes. I promise it's nothing I can't handle. I'm so sorry I scared you." Mia shifted over on the bed making room for him. She patted her hand on the bed inviting him. "Sit with me please?"

Shunsui sat next to her, bringing his arm around her. Instantly she felt a rush of warmth, a rush love.

"What happened Mia? What made you shut down like that?"

"I felt something. At least I think I did. I mean I'm pretty sure I did."

"What did you feel?"

"Are you sure you want to know that? You can't un-hear it." Mia asked looking up at him. It wasn't that she thought he was weak. She was actually pretty sure he thought she was. All his worry she knew was for her.

"Tell me love."

"I felt the baby detach. It was the last straw."

She felt him squeeze her tightly. She leaned into him, softly crying as she mentally prepared herself for the surgery.

Captain Kotesu came back several hours later with Captain Kurotsuchi to further explain the surgery. Once Shunsui had asked all the questions he needed to know Captain Kurotsuchi left to prepare the room.

"Don't worry Commander. We'll take good care of her." Captain Kotesu called as she wheeled Mia out of the room.

Mia tried to shoot him a reassuring smile before she left him. The sadness reflected in his face left her feeling like a failure. _When I wake up I have to tell him how wonderful he is._

Upon entering the operating room Mia could hear an irritated Captain Kurotsuchi muttering under his breath. She only caught a few words but they had managed to make her smile.

"Not everyone processes things rationally or scientifically." She began defending her husbands behavior. "Some of us are ruled by our emotions."

"Yes well, I would have expected the head captain to show more control in times of stress."

"He's just a man whose already lost so much hoping to not lose anything else. You of all people should know how he feels."

"Yes well, never mind all that. Now this is a very simple procedure. It should take about three to four hours to complete and then you can go home to that husband of yours."

Mia laid back and closed her eyes. She thought of all the wonderful things that had happened to her since that day in December when she and Shunsui first got together. She let thoughts of him lull her as the medication took over knocking her out.


	8. Chapter 8

One month, one long month had passed since Mia had her surgery. Sitting outside under the hot June sun she sighed heavily.

She hadn't been able to return to her duties yet. Mia was still having a hard time getting out of the bed in the morning, her depression making a mess of her life.

When she had been in surgery Shunsui had asked Nanao to get rid of the nursery he had made for the baby. Mia knew he hadn't meant any harm, that he was just trying to help her cope but it had upset her. They had ended up getting into a terrible fight. Ever since then they had been like two ships in the night passing on occasion.

He woke up, went to work and came home late smelling like alcohol. Not that she blamed him. Every time he tried, every time he made the effort she just snapped at him. Worse still she couldn't stop herself. She couldn't bring herself to apologize. She could see how irrational she was being, knew she was taking her anger out on him but she was unable to stop. Shunsui knew. He knew what she was doing and he was just taking it. That thought had depressed her even more.

Mia sat for a long time, lost in a maze of her own thoughts when she heard someone calling her name. Looking up she was surprised to see Hana.

"I'm so glad to see you! It's been weeks at least. When you stopped coming I was worried something had happened to you, especially after the head captain came looking for you." Hana sat down next to Mia smiling brightly at her.

"Hey Hana." Mia forced herself to say. "How have you been?"

"Great! I met this great guy, we've been messing around. Mostly I spend my time with him now."

"That's great. I'm happy for you." Mia smiled. _Fake it until you make it._

"So how about you? How have you been? How's the baby?"

Mia felt like someone had just stabbed her in the heart. She could feel the tears threatening to spill. Taking a deep breath and pushing them back she told her friend the awful news.

"There is no baby. I lost her."

"Oh!" Hana said, her hands coving her mouth horrified. "Mia I'm so sorry. Did they say what happened?"

"Just science stuff. I guess sometimes things just don't come together right." Mia wiped the few tears she couldn't hold back.

"I'm so sorry! I know how excited you were."

Mia just nodded her head, not really knowing what to say. She tried to listen to her friend but she could feel her mind wandering, already working on an excuse to get up and crawl back into her bed.

"And well at least you weren't that far along."

"Excuse me?" Mia asked standing up. "What did you just say?"

"I said at least you weren't that far along."

"Hana. What kind of cold hearted thing is that to say? Nine weeks or nine months, it doesn't matter. I was going to be a mother and now I'm not. I carried a life in me, a life I made plans for and now it's gone. It hurts no matter how short it was."

"I'm sorry Mia I didn't mean.."

"She was a person Hana! She was important to me and now she's gone!" Mia shouted her tears flowing hard. She was taken aback when she felt Hana wrap her arms around her. "I'm so sorry Hana."

Mia sat with Hana for a while, just crying and letting it all out. She told her everything, Shunsui getting rid of the room, her yelling at him. How she was making a mess of her life and she didn't know how to fix it or how to stop it.

"I'm going to lose him too. I won't be able to take it."

"Just be honest with him. Why are you trying to deal with this all on your own? You're married right? Let him help you."

"I can't let him see me sad. He worries about me."

"Why? Why are you hiding from him? Trust him to help you."

"You're right. I have to trust him. Thanks Hana. Sorry again for yelling at you."

"Don't worry." She said shrugging it off. "I probably would have done the same thing. People just don't realize how stupid they sound sometimes."

Mia smiled at her before she stood up, intending to walk to Shunsui's office and talk to him.

"If you want to make it up to me..." Hanna called after her. "Why don't you tell me who this mystery man is?"

"Captain Commander Kyoraku." Mia replied, smiling genuinely for the first time at the surprised look on Hana's face.

Mia had decided to take the long way to his office. For once she was actually enjoying the fresh air. _If I had known how much better I would have felt just crying and letting it out I would have done it sooner. I just hope it's not too late to fix this mess I made._

Lost in her own thoughts while she walked Mia found herself in a part of the Seireitei she hadn't seen before. She stood on the side of the road, looking for markers to indicate where she needed to head in order to reach the squad one headquarters when something caught her eye.

There across the road was a hair salon. She noticed some of the women soul reapers sitting inside chatting away without a care in the world. Mia reached up unrolling her long mane. She ran her fingers through her hair, pulling a lock in front of her face. Smiling softly Mia walked across the road and walk inside the salon.

She left about an hour later feeling much lighter. The poor stylist almost fainted when she said she wanted to cut off all of her long locks. Mia had settled for a very short bob, her hair now just barely grazing her chin. Mia smiled at her reflection. _A new cut was just what I needed to start over. I just hope Shunsui doesn't get too upset_.

Mia knocked loudly on the squad one barracks door and waited. She took a deep breath and mustered up all the energy she had to prepare herself. She needed to stop hiding and she needed to apologize to her husband.

"Mia!" Nanao said surprised to see her. "Your hair!"

"Oh." Mia laughed softly, her hand reaching up to tug on the end of it. "I just decided to cut it."

"I like it. It looks refreshing."

Mia smiled lightly at her.

"I need to see him. Well I would actually like to steal him for the rest of the day. Is he busy?"

"Is he ever?" Nanao asked rolling her eyes and stepping aside to let Mia in. Together they walked the long hallway back ti his office.

"Good luck Mia." Nanao said once she had reached the door. She knocked loudly before disappearing quickly back down the hall.

"Come on in Nanao."

Taking another deep breath, Mia walked into the room. Shunsui was sitting behind his desk, actually he was slumped over the desk. He hadn't bothered to lift his head. A tall bottle of sake sat next to his hand. It took all she had not to cry. _What have I done to you._

"Shunsui."

Shunsui looked up immediately.

"Mia?" He asked stunned.

He tried to focus on what he was seeing. He didn't know what to think, but he hardly recognized the woman standing in front of him. Either he had been drinking too much sake lately or something had changed in Mia.

Her hair was definitely shorter, and he was surprised at how much he liked the way it looked. Shunsui liked the way her hair framed the soft curves of her face. That wasn't all he noticed. There was also something about the way she was carrying herself. Something had shifted in her.

"We need to talk." Mia said eying the sake.

Shunsui sat up, quickly taking the bottle and stuffing it back into his desk.

Mia walked over to the desk, pulling the bottle back out surprising him. She poured herself a shot and downed it quickly.

"Ugh." She cried sticking her tongue out in disgust. "Oh that's awful."

"It's the cheap stuff my dear." Shunsui chuckled at his wife.

He picked up the jar and poured himself a shot, raising it to her in toast before throwing it back.

"I know why you're here. Old habits die hard." He said lifting the bottle in acknowledgment. "I'll try to do better for you."

"Yes. Well this certainly needs to change." She said nodding to the bottle. "I don't want you drinking alone again."

"Wait what?"

"I know you're sad. After all you lost a baby too. And I never even thought to see if you were ok. I never even asked how you were doing. But you can't do this alone anymore. We can't do this alone anymore."

"Mia, what are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say I'm sorry. I was upset and I pushed you away and yelled at you and took all my anger out on you, instead of letting you in and letting you help me. I tried to heal myself all on my own. That was wrong. I'm not alone anymore."

Mia walked around his desk, sitting in his lap and burying her head into his warm chest. It had been so long since she touched him, her whole body relaxed and melted into him. It was almost like stepping into a hot bath on a cold day. It was clear her body needed him as much as her heart did.

"If I'm sad or whatever I want to be able to open up to you about it. I want to let you help me. And if you're sad I want to be there to help you. Even if that just means sitting next to you while you get drunk. Together."

Mia felt his chest move while he silently chuckled.

"You're an amazing woman Mia."

"No, I'm not." She said wrapping her small arms tightly around him. "And I've been a terrible wife. But I'm going to do better. I love you so much, it's been killing me this last month not letting you in. Will you forgive me?"

Mia looked up into his face. She could see all the love he possessed for her in his gentle features.

"There's nothing to forgive love."

He leaned down, kissing her sweetly on her lips. The taste of sake still lingering, causing him to deepen the kiss. Shunsui ran his hands through her short hair, caressing her while his tongue slowly rolled against hers. After several long minutes he pulled back from her, resting his forehead against hers.

"Sorry. I got carried away there for a minute. This new haircut of yours...I like it."

Mia laughed. She pressed her lips against his for a chaste kiss.

"I just wanted to look in the mirror and see someone else. And never apologize for a kiss like that."

"Look Mia I've been wanting to give you something but I've hesitated. I didn't want to upset you.."

"It's alright."

Shunsui adjusted himself before reaching over into the desk drawer. After moving several empty bottles of sake around he finally located the flat black box. He pulled it out setting it in the desk.

"What is it?"

"It's called jewelry." He answered laughing.

Mia playfully swatted at him, rolling her eyes a bit.

"You know what I mean."

Mia opened the box. Inside was a beautiful necklace. A heart shaped pendant hanging from it. In the center of the heart was a small floating blue topaz. She held it out and watched as the small gem appeared to be moving.

"I don't understand. Why did you think this would upset me?"

Shunsui took a deep breath, stealing a second to think best how to explain what his intentions had been.

"You remember that story I told you, about my brothers wife."

"Yes."

"So, you understand why I wear this kimono right Mia?"

"I always felt you had a few reasons. The most important one to remember her. To honor her in whatever small way you could."

"That's pretty darn close. I just thought maybe you could use something like that. I see you struggling to move on. I know you must be fed guilty about it."

"I have felt ashamed of myself for trying to move on. Makes me feel like I didn't love her enough." Mia said putting her head down. She clutched the necklace in her hands while she stared at it.

"I got this for you, so you would have a remembrance of some sort. So you wouldn't feel guilty about moving on and being happy again. In the human world, the color of that stone represents the birth month of December. When.."

"When our baby would have been born." She finished for him.

Mia held the necklace up to the light, letting it shine through the light blue gem.

"It's beautiful, I think this is just what I needed." She said looking up at him again. "Thank you."

Mia handed him the necklace, allowing him to fascinate it together. When he finished she slid off his lap and turned around so he could get a good look.

"Looks beautiful."

Mia nodded her head, a few tears leaking. Her hand reached up and wrapped around the pendant and she squeezed it tightly, wishing she could be hugging her baby.

"Moving on doesn't have to mean forgetting Mia."

"Thank you so much."

Mia leaned down wrapping her arms around him hugging him tightly before she pulled away. She reached down grabbing the jar of sake before straightening up.

"How about we go home. Lay in our bed and drink this together till we pass out?"

"What an invitation. I can only think of one thing that could make this night better.."

Mia laughed. She pulled him down to whisper seductively in his ear making him blush.

"Mia.."

Mia smiled softly at him before taking his hand in hers.

"Let's go home."

Mia wasn't sure how long it would take her to move on from this. The only thing she knew was she intended to take that first step, right now with her husband. Together they would heal. Together they would find a way to deal with the sadness and together they would eventually build a beautiful family.

Authors note:

Thank you for reading my little story. It wasn't easy for me to write, and it certainly wasn't easy for me to live but writing this did help me heal a bit. Thanks again.


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